I don’t scare easy… Even in the bush, the African bush, I’m cautious, listen to all things, tune my eyes as best as these urban baubles can be adjusted for the complexity of nature… I’m calm and generally responsible in times of crisis.
Just under a week ago all this came unstuck… I was seated on a cane lounge in my chalet in Ithala when I decided to seperate the two chairs. They’d been pressed together. Once in the sunlight I re-seated and started back into the book I was reading (Lawrence Lessig’s “Free Culture”) when I heard a scratching sound… Ok, that’s normal, I thought… I’m only a couple of metres from the bush, there’s scratching sounds coming out of there all the time… but it persisted and was getting closer and closer…
I looked down at the side of my chair and there, crawling up the side of the other chair was the mother of all Scorpians! I ain’t seen anything like it in my life and I freaked!!!!
I leapt out of the chair and before I knew where I was or what I was going to do I was at the other end of the house in a minor panic… Wot the fuck!!! Wot the fuck do I do now??? Do I contact the reserve office, get someone up here to sort it out? Do these things jump? No one mentioned Scorpians… It’s not dry enough… And what the fuck? It’s huge!!! Half the size of my hand or more….
Eventually I approached it with a broom and after some minor cussin from me and it raisin it’s tail and chompin it’s mandibles, I got it outside where it immediatly shed its skin… Wow! In one moment it’s the scariest thing and in the next, it’s nature’s gift! Man, it was astounding…
The lesson here? Er… never seperate two chairs which have been stuck fast together in a chalet in the African bush without the necessary equipment handy to deal with the… er… fallout!