An evening before we hit 2007 and I find myself in the squalor of loneliness and depression! A neat bookend to the same time last year… If I’m like this at 44, what will I be like in another 20 years from now?

It’s as if these past two years I’ve put my life on hold, steering it through some semblance of a professional career cushioned by a private life of good food, silence, uncertainty and broad open skies…

I was determined to not spend this year as I had done the last, but I couldn’t unhinge myself from 10 years or more… 12 years now, of being devoted to a single person from whom so much inspiration and motivation I came to rely on.

And on this night, the smell of fire throughout Melbourne, in the Starlight Room, amidst Mini discs and DAT tapes, many that have stayed on my desk this past year, dust gathering where there should be movement and urgency, the dull pall of traffic, overzealous motorbikes reaching for audible status and my breath, short and wavering… on this night, with all who too sit in near silence, this is how it ends, this year…

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5 thoughts on “20061230”

  1. been gr8 knowing yr out there in this strange exile / rebuilding year in melb.. lower the valleys higher the mountains – cheesy yet true.it’s weird when you have an alter ego that does the survival chores while the rest of you heals..the broken wing of my mind mended this year – wishing you springlike new beginnings,meeting every artist who’s inspired you, connection, joy and refilling from the well 2007.. and enough sleep!!

  2. Hi, Andrew!

    Sad you sound, why’s that?… Courage, young man!:-)

    If this will encourage you, on December 31st, 2006, I felt not much better, actually. But now I am better!:-)

    It was great time when we all could meet in Varna, in Autumn 2005:)

    C’ya 🙂

  3. Glad to hear that, Andrew 🙂

    You might wanna visit my new Optimiced blog — I started it at the beginning of the year and try to keep it with up-to-date news on me and things which interest me — but this is not always possible, as work is always occupying most of my time and personal things sometimes go on the second (and even third;-) plan… 🙂

    Good luck, it’s good to hear from you that the mood is going up! 🙂

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